To have, but not hold
by Lady Jamie
Summary: Just one chapter, S/J romance, please R


AN: I wrote this late one night, when I couldn't sleep. I don't usually like one parters (Teasers) but there was no more of this story that I could think of, if you can tell me.  
  
If you think it's daft tell me as well.  
  
To have, but not hold.  
  
Jareth rose from the bed, the quilt slid over his nakedness, with a soft rustle. He looked back at the sleeping girl. Her chestnut brown hair looked black in the early morning light, he could barely see her face; the cover was pulled up to just below her nose.  
  
Jareth liked to wake before her; it gave him these precious moments just to look at her,  
  
Savouring every moment, before reality intruded on them once again, and he would have to leave, to go back to his own realm.  
  
Jareth searched again for a way for them to be together. His greatest wish was for her to be able to come to his castle as his queen. But that was a dream that could never be. The laws of his world would never permit him to take mortal woman to wife.  
  
Also as king he would need heirs, to carry on to rule after he was no more. And there was no chance of Sarah bearing him a child, it would be physically impossible. The magic alone would over whelm her. And for that reason he had used magic and made it impossible for her to fall pregnant from their few stolen hours together.  
  
Jareth sat on the edge of the bed, and leaned across to brush away a piece of her hair, that had fallen across her face.  
  
Did she know this mortal girl, how much of his soul she held? It scared him sometimes, just how much he needed her in his life, the thought of her not being there, was enough to make his stomach clench in panic.  
  
How his friends would ridicule him, if they knew, that a bit of a girl barely eighteen years old, held his heart. But they hadn't heard her laugh, the sound made the hairs on the back of his neck tingle.  
  
And they would never hear her sighs when he came to her in the night, and they would touch and make love, till the night sky lightened. And she would hold him tightly until she fell asleep.  
  
They had never heard her whisper how much she loved him and that there would never be anyone else, that could ever take his place in her heart.  
  
Just then Sarah's eyes flickered open, she looked into his eyes and saw the sorrow there, her eyes filled with tears, how much longer could they carry on like this. Every morning was the same he would leave. And every morning it hurt a little more. Maybe it was time to put an end to it. To put an end to both they're suffering. Let each other go.  
  
Jareth got up and began to pull his clothes on, Sarah sat up, put her arms round her knees, she watched him, as he put on his waistcoat, a tear fell unheeded. He walked back to the bed, leant down to brush his lips against hers, she clung tightly to him her mouth insistent. The kiss lasted a few moments more. Jareth pulled back, and looked out of the window at the lightening sky. 'Sarah, I.'  
  
'I know,' she sighed 'Jareth, maybe we should.' Jareth put his finger against her lips.  
  
'Don't Sarah, we both know, better this than nothing at all.'  
  
He was right, to not see him ever again, would be like death only there would be no, end to it. Better to go on like this. Than have the hollow feeling all the time, the hollow feeling would begin when he left each morning a physical burning in her stomach that would only abate when he retuned to take her in his arms each night. Better to have him here some off the time than never.  
  
But to live like this, a half-life, only alive truly when he was here. Nobody could feel this bad.  
  
Jareth put a finger under her chin, to lift her face so her eyes met his.  
  
Sarah was wrong there was someone who knew just how this felt.  
  
Sarah took his hand, turned it over and kissed hi palm, as he gave a half smile withdrew his hand and pulled on his black leather gloves.  
  
Oh god the moment was here again, tears now fell freely, and a sob rose uncontrollably. She swallowed it back again as Jareth looked at her and brought his hands up there in his right hand was a crystal,  
  
'Jareth, I love you'  
  
'I know sweetheart, I love you too'  
  
The crystal fell, and he was gone.  
  
The only sound in the room was weeping. The pain filled sobs spoke of need and of loss. 


End file.
